Late at night, she used to watch me kiss the floor...

You come to a point in your life when everything perfectly fits… or so they say there is such a moment.
Lately, thoughts cross trough my mind, wandering about such things as the meaning of life, my life in particular, about the people I know and like/love, about what I do, and about my approach to life and how did my education affected it.
The funny thing is, in respect to this last point, I can see perfectly clear from were it came for.
I was raised with the profound premise that the world, and everyone in it, is against you. My father used to say "It's a dog's world". During the course of my stay, wandering around this particular piece of the globe, I've come to realize that not every part, or every piece, of this world is "doggy". Some gems you find, some moments you life, some things you see, they all lift your hope up that there's another side of the other dog eat dog thing you see every day.
I don't believe in people.
Sometimes I realize that I don't believe my loved ones. I find myself thinking about if their intentions were real, if they're not lying to me, if there's not another side to their story.
In my opinion, and I realize it every time one of those thoughts crosses my mind, that's really sad.
I know some amazing persons.
I am terribly grateful for everything they have given me.
However…
…I still can't believe in them to the nth degree…
I see people going away, and finding them again only brings back a vague recollection of what it used to be, and question their motives to why their are running, or walking, away.
In every of those recollections is a defining moment of my life.
The evening of a very special concert that I attended standing 10 centimetres behind the person that I loved at that time…
…The evening when someone asked me for help in a very delicate situation, preferring me over every one else she knew. A evening that was, for all the wrong and right motives, something to remember…
…The time when I sat a friend's house, night running very late, comforting and talking to her about what was going on in her life…
…Walk's in a camping park, hours straight, talking about everything and everyone…
…Hours spent working in intense physical and psychological stress, where the people who You're working with seems to have all of the questions, and none of the answers.
The above moments were all spent with persons that are very close to my heart, and, at the moment, for various motives, seemed to have drifted away… or I drifted away from them, sometimes by choice, other's by their choice.
These were all defining moments, the one's that you remember, that flash in front of your eyes, when you think of those people.
Those are the one's that make me believe there's still some hope for the dog eat dog world…
Those make me wander if it's not time for a change, to call some of these people back…

Can't say that I know… can't say that I don't know… Deep inside, I know the answer.

If someone sees and reads this, drop me a line at afonso_dot_ricardo_at_gmail_dot_com

Bye,
R