Friday, April 29, 2005

Rock On

Stolen shamelessly from AlemDosOutdoors

Yes, is in portuguese... No, I won't translate it... Google is your friend...

Teoreticaly is from a job interview enquiry...

Já fiz cosquinha na minha irmã só pra ela parar de chorar, já me queimei brincando com vela.
Eu já fiz bola de chiclete e melequei todo o rosto. Já conversei com o espelho, e até já brinquei de ser bruxo.
Já quis ser astronauta, violonista, mágico, caçador e trapezista.
Já me escondi atrás da cortina e esqueci os pés pra fora.
Já passei trote por telefone.
Já tomei banho de chuva e acabei me viciando.
Já roubei beijo.
Já confundi sentimentos.
Peguei atalho errado e continuo andando pelo desconhecido.
Já raspei o fundo da panela de arroz carreteiro, já me cortei fazendo a barba apressado, já chorei ouvindo música no ônibus.
Já tentei esquecer algumas pessoas, mas descobri que essas são as mais difíceis de se esquecer.
Já subi escondido no telhado pra tentar pegar estrelas, já subi em arvore pra roubar fruta, já caí da escada de #####.
Já fiz juras eternas, já escrevi no muro da escola, já chorei sentado no chão do banheiro.
Já fugi de casa pra sempre, e voltei no outro instante.
Já corri pra não deixar alguém chorando, já fiquei sozinho no meio de mil pessoas sentindo falta de uma só.
Já vi pôr-do-sol cor-de-rosa e alaranjado, já me joguei na piscina sem vontade de voltar.
Já bebi uísque até sentir dormente os meus lábios.
Já olhei a cidade de cima e mesmo assim não encontrei meu lugar.
Já senti medo do escuro, já tremi de nervoso, já quase morri de amor, mas renasci novamente pra ver o sorriso de alguém especial.
Já acordei no meio da noite e fiquei com medo de levantar.
Já apostei em correr descalço na rua, já gritei de felicidade, já roubei rosas num enorme jardim.
Já me apaixonei e achei que era para sempre, mas sempre era um ''para sempre'' pela metade.
Já deitei na grama de madrugada e vi a Lua virar Sol.
Já chorei por ver amigos partindo, mas descobri que logo chegam novos, e a vida é mesmo um ir e vir sem razão.
Foram tantas coisas feitas, momentos fotografados pelas lentes da emoção, guardados num baú,chamado coração.
E agora um formulário me interroga, me encosta na parede e grita:
''- Qual sua experiência?''.
Essa pergunta ecoa no meu cérebro: ''experiência... experiência...''
Será que ser ''plantador de sorrisos'' é uma boa experiência?
Não!!! Talvez eles não saibam ainda "colher sonhos!''
Agora gostaria de indagar uma pequena coisa para quem formulou esta pergunta:
Experiência? Quem a tem, se a todo momento tudo se renova?

Kinda makes you think doesn't it?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Late at night, she used to watch me kiss the floor...

You come to a point in your life when everything perfectly fits… or so they say there is such a moment.
Lately, thoughts cross trough my mind, wandering about such things as the meaning of life, my life in particular, about the people I know and like/love, about what I do, and about my approach to life and how did my education affected it.
The funny thing is, in respect to this last point, I can see perfectly clear from were it came for.
I was raised with the profound premise that the world, and everyone in it, is against you. My father used to say "It's a dog's world". During the course of my stay, wandering around this particular piece of the globe, I've come to realize that not every part, or every piece, of this world is "doggy". Some gems you find, some moments you life, some things you see, they all lift your hope up that there's another side of the other dog eat dog thing you see every day.
I don't believe in people.
Sometimes I realize that I don't believe my loved ones. I find myself thinking about if their intentions were real, if they're not lying to me, if there's not another side to their story.
In my opinion, and I realize it every time one of those thoughts crosses my mind, that's really sad.
I know some amazing persons.
I am terribly grateful for everything they have given me.
However…
…I still can't believe in them to the nth degree…
I see people going away, and finding them again only brings back a vague recollection of what it used to be, and question their motives to why their are running, or walking, away.
In every of those recollections is a defining moment of my life.
The evening of a very special concert that I attended standing 10 centimetres behind the person that I loved at that time…
…The evening when someone asked me for help in a very delicate situation, preferring me over every one else she knew. A evening that was, for all the wrong and right motives, something to remember…
…The time when I sat a friend's house, night running very late, comforting and talking to her about what was going on in her life…
…Walk's in a camping park, hours straight, talking about everything and everyone…
…Hours spent working in intense physical and psychological stress, where the people who You're working with seems to have all of the questions, and none of the answers.
The above moments were all spent with persons that are very close to my heart, and, at the moment, for various motives, seemed to have drifted away… or I drifted away from them, sometimes by choice, other's by their choice.
These were all defining moments, the one's that you remember, that flash in front of your eyes, when you think of those people.
Those are the one's that make me believe there's still some hope for the dog eat dog world…
Those make me wander if it's not time for a change, to call some of these people back…

Can't say that I know… can't say that I don't know… Deep inside, I know the answer.

If someone sees and reads this, drop me a line at afonso_dot_ricardo_at_gmail_dot_com

Bye,
R

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Amazingly numb

Why is this post title like that?

Well... It sounds good...

Lately I haven't posted here... Mia also didn't... So it's a dull front page... Static as hell.

So now a new threat is unleashed upon the world... This post!

I've been trying Apple's iTunes Music Store... Well trying isn't the exact word for it... It's more like I've been sucked in.. And in a matter of days I managed to spend almost 20€ in it... That's about 10% of my monthly budget, so you should be able to imagine the cataclysmic state of my finances right now... Of course, considering that, in this month only, I've already bought 1 CD (Placebo's Once more With Feeling (the singles)), and one of these days almost 15€ where deducted from my account in parking fees only, you could say I will be living from donations for the last 3 days of the month...

Where were I? Oh... iTMS. Listening to the music I legally bought gives me that warm fuzzy feeling of doing something right.. So Nuspirit Helsinki, Velvet Underground and Nitin Sawhney, thank you for keeping me warm. :)

Next on the agenda... Hum nothing... I don't have an agenda for these posts :P

It's funny all the little feelings you get when you're around people of the opposite sex... Ever had the feeling one of your friends could, if in a different time or space, kiss you, love you ... In sum.. You could be a couple, and the only reason you're not is because fate threw a curve ball at you?
I had that feeling the other day... a few days after listening something on the radio that put me thinking... A know radio show (Prova Oral) at my favorite radio (Antena 3) was discussing Love. They said something like "Sometimes you love someone that cannot love you back" and then they jumped that situation entirely and discussed only letting go from those you cannot love. Of course the other possible course of action isn't a very pleasant one: waiting.
Wow.. I managed to write two paragraphs saying almost nothing... but in nothingness you'll find the path to enlightenment, as they said in some old Japanese film (or I'm just making it up while I'm typing ;)).
So.. And to end this little rambling... What if everyone could have half an hour (I had written 2 minutes... But half an hour is more like it) of unrestricted, unaffected, forgotten moments with another person... A moment where both of you weren't tied up by social, psychic or physical constrains to the outside world, you could do anything, without affecting the course of history.. a dreamlike event... Which both would remember as a different, if not weird, dream...

That would be an opportunity I would love to have... Even if after it I would be like the cavemen in the "The Allegory of the Cave" by Plato (
Link to original text)...

With this I say goodbye to all my imaginary reader, the shadows in my wall...

Kisses and Hugs...
Ricardo

P.S. Blogger spell check suggests me to change my name to Richard.... maybe it's the right thing to do... maybe it's a premonition... ;)

Friday, October 15, 2004

Leic ERASMUS

Leic ERASMUS

Here's the promised link to the Erasmus blog... in portuguese...

Kisses &/or Hugs
RA.

Out2Think: When everything works just fine...

Out2Think: When everything works just fine...

WOOOOWWW... Sheeee'ssss baaaa aaacckkkk :P

Ok.. It looks like I'm on steroids today... Just blogging on Mia returning with a post, and also hoping that Mia didn't launch that evilish grin/laughter in my direction... I'm not THAT unoccupied... Actually I'm with my hands filled at the moment.

he... Times up for today... Going to head to bed... This weekend the following week s'gonna be a hell of a week :). I'm heading for Denmark, taking some time of to visit some of my buds out in the European Mobility Program - Erasmus. Of course to do that I'm going to need to work ahead my schedule... Life :P

I'm gonna drop a link to the Leic Erasmus Weblog, so if You want pay them a virtual visit!

Bye to all of, especially to the one's I love
R.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Out2Think: 05/02/2004 - 05/08/2004

Out2Think: 05/02/2004 - 05/08/2004
To mia:
I make your words mine... You'll make it... I'm every bit so confident you will.

Hope your having a nice dream right now...

Kisses,
RA

PS: Reading old posts sure is strange... =S

Shortest post

Today just a word determines my state of mind, my feelings...It defines the present... Actualy that's a Portuguese word:

Saudade...

Try this on for size...
bye...
RA